A lot has, shall we say, transgressed and then healed since my last entry about my significant other. It’s been a roller coaster ride and there’s a lot more understanding between us now than before I published the last entry. Things are good again! Extrapolation. I know I’m being vague on purpose.

I think a lot of what people have said to me and treated me in the past few days have really tested the strength of the relationship I have with myself. It makes you realize how alone you are but also what people want from you as well. And does it really matter what you want if it doesn't please everybody? Hmm. There's been talk of expectations and how I should lead my life in order to gain the most amount of approval from family, which will in turn minimize the most amount of gossip that inevitably happens because people don't have anything better to do or say. There's a kind of man that I should be dating in order to raise the perfect, most traditional family where harm can't reach. Criteria: "He has to have a Master's Degree." The most telling evidence of intelligence and financial stability, am I right?

Also, one of my coworkers at my job has turned into a complete control freak rage monster who chastises and yells at me for not doing things fast enough or for making mistakes. She told me once that I should always be checking on the ovens because she'll be too busy to catch me making mistakes.

>:(

I guess the message that I'm receiving from these interactions are a) what you're doing isn't good enough and b) what you want isn't as important as the things you're supposed to do if you'd just stayed with tradition.

Sometimes the status quo of something is how shitty it's always going to be. Someone told me that if you want to stay sane, you cannot care too much.

Two more years. Just two more years.

Clearly these people talking to you about tradition don't have any clue what the job market is like these days. Getting a Master's now is like paying a lot of money to be a really smart retail worker.

We should hang out soon. I know I keep saying that, but seriously, we should. Have you been seeing friends? It might help relieve some of the pressure.
» randomjunk on 2013-03-05 10:52:57

re:comment
What are you reading? (What did you finish reading?)
I didn't make anything out of snow. This is because most of the time I spent outside was walking around, not liking having to trudge through all the snow just to get anywhere. :S

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What is expected of you, as expressed by others, always feels so important when it's being told--or reminded--to you. And this can be helpful, keeping up with a standard. But more often than not, I feel, it only dishes out more stress than it does "results."
And some of these expectations don't always have *your* best interest in mind. Just remember be true to yourself, because you're the one who has to live with yourself no matter what does happen.
» invisible on 2013-03-05 11:28:15

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